frenchie

My Dad came to Canada in 1935. I can just picture Dad coming off the ship all by himself, landing in Halifax with no family, no friends, no home, no money. How difficult that must have been at the young age of fifteen. Where was he going to go? He followed other people that he met on the ship to Montreal by train. One woman took him under her wing and directed him to her sister’s home where he rented this tiny room.

How was he going to pay for room and board? For a couple of days, he walked from store to store requesting work, but he could hardly speak English and no one wanted to hire him. He did speak eight other languages, but this was not of value. A week later, he lent money from his landlord, bought a very inexpensive second hand car, quickly learned how to drive and was on his way. He purchased bread and rolls from bakeries and went door to door in the area where he lived, selling his ware. And so, for forty years he was called the ”Breadman”.  He worked fifteen and more hours a day to pay back his loan and continued his bread business for forty years.

In 1944, he married my mom who also arrived into Canada in 1936 with her parents, brother, and sisters.  My mom’s parents were quite poor, but Dad was not concerned as he was immediately welcomed into a family that he so desperately longed for. My parents always had their own financial struggles,  but they consistently managed to give their children, four of us, (I’m the youngest!) the essentials and even more. They forever insisted that we attend university,  and for that, among many other things,  we are all forever thankful.

For some reason, I was always destined to be a teacher. I think my parents made sure of that. As a child, they bought me blackboards, chalk, a desk, a variety of books, and they asked me to teach them how to read and write when I was young. I loved it! Dad never had time to go to school, always working late while mom was busy keeping up the chores in the house. I was always excited to teach them since they had such a strong desire to learn, especially the English language. They were always inquisitive and even though they hardly had time, they made sure they read and practiced their writing skills each and every day. And, I made sure of that!

And so, I am very thankful to both my parents for leading me down the road to education. They showed me the value and strong desire for learning. Although I’ve been teaching for many years, I still adore my job and I’m thankful to mom and dad for paving this route for me.

This friend is well caring and so very dear

Every time I need to talk, she is always near.

She often listens to my woes, my positive thoughts too

She really helps me when I’m down, suggesting what to do.

I pick up the phone, she’s always there, to listen to my pleas

And her advice is seldmon wrong, it helps me solve my needs.

It satisfies me to hear her voice, so soothing and so calm,

It’s  enough to pick me up, at times when I feel down.

It’s so nice to have a friend so special, yes indeed -

I know I’m lucky for her strength she passes onto me.

It’s also nice to have a friend who nevers says, “I’m busy”

She hears me out, accepts my moods, when things are in a tizzy.

Thanks for being my friend……

Montreal is the place where I grew up and established my friendships. These are women with whom I met as children when we were in elementary school. We then moved onto high school and added more friends to our list. This number increased in university and continued to grow when I started teaching.

When I moved to Toronto after the icestorm in 1998, I suddenly realized I was leaving all my friends that I met along my lifes path from childhood to adulthood. I was suddenly saddened by this thought and wondered if my long friendships would continue now that I was leaving a place where I grew up.

Some of my friends cried, some of them wished me good luck, and some of them wanted to leave and join me in this big  city of Toronto.  The first couple of months I kept in touch with them almost every day. Many came to visit  and stayed with me, admiring my new house and its surroundings. We talked until all hours of the night, reminisced about our high school days, and laughed at the crazy things we used to do. Others gradually became distant as the phone calls started to diminish and stopped.  At almost every occasion I returned to Montreal, I called these friends in an attempt to resume our relationships, but they would never return my calls. I just gave up on them and suddenly realized the meaning of true friendship.

When my true friends would leave my home after an amazing visit, I would suddenly become frightened as to how I would make new friends in Toronto. It’s such a large city and everything is so spread out. My first summer here, I forced myself to visit places of interest and ventured downtown on my own several times by subway. I went other places by car forcing myself to travel the maze of the 401, wondering if I was going north, south, east or west. Through trial and error, I learned the ins and outs of finding my way back home by attempting to avoid traffic jams at all costs.

Then my first teaching job arrived, working at a business college, and travelling to  places from Oakville  to downtown Bay and Bloor. And here, I found “workplace” friends who helped me get through the trials and tribulations of teaching subjects as Computer I, Business English, and Marketing. Outside of the workplace, I didn’t see them at all, although they were the friendliest group of men and women that I ever met. Although I kept in touch with my Montreal friends, it wasn’t enough for me.

Two years later, I started teaching for a large school board in a school of 750 students a half hour away from home. These teachers once again became my “work” friends, but this wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to have the true friendship that I was missing with my long time friends. I joined the gym and met two girls while working out on the treadmill.  They, too, were teachers so we always had many things to talk about. I still meet one of them quite often to work out and have coffee. She is somewhat younger than me with four young children, but for some reason we always have something to discuss.

One afternoon, after work, I was in the locker room at the gym and I saw an extremely familiar face. We both looked at each other with a smile but we never said anything to one another. We each went about doing our own workout, but I was curious if this was a girl who I played with from Grade 2 until we lost touch at the age of sixteen. I had to know. I made sure we were both in the changing room at the same time. Again, we both looked at each other and at the same time spoke asking each other’s names. Yes, it was my long time childhood friend. We both couldn’t believe how we still recognized each other. I guess in all the years we haven’t changed very much!   We started hugging each other not letting go while screaming, laughing, and crying all at the same time. We couldn’t believe it - after so many years.  We exchanged phone numbers, met for coffee, and spent hours getting caught up. It was just like we never lost touch. We are now great friends and our husbands get along extremely well. 

And so, friends come; friends go, but childhood friends last forever.

This is a poem I wrote in the still of the night: 

The wise old owl once said to me, -

“Oh, I really like it high in the tree,

To watch everyone in the quiet night

Move silently around – until daylight.”

“The wind quietly flows thru leaves and trees,

As the breeze moves slowly to put us at ease.

It’s great to see the city so still

People do what they want of their own free will.”

This is the reason that the owl is so wise,

He stays calm and cool as he watches people’s lives.

Until the city awakes in the early morn

Then the wise old owl goes to sleep until dawn.

It’s now July 2nd and what have I been doing. Nothing. I’m so glad to be doing Nothing. From September 1 to June 30th I have been moving about non-stop. My day starts at 5:00 a.m. and by 10:00 p.m. I  crash, and asleep twenty minutes later. I know I’m not unique and who said working for over 30 years at the same pace is easy? When I think of all that I have accomplished in one day, I am proud but I still don’t know how I do it.

And so, that’s why I’m so glad to be doing Nothing. I’m still up by 5 but I can take my time and decide to do the things I have been wanting to do all year. My pace does slow down for awhile, but at the end of August when I’m ready to start again. Right now, I don’t want to think about it. I just want to continue to enjoy my days doing Nothing.

Since I love doing Nothing for two months, I guess I need to say Hello world! Where are you? I am at home where I sit on my couch, look at my beautiful furniture, look at the four walls and just take it all in. I’ll meditate in the morning, read my books, go to the gym and do my workout, come home to maybe pick up a rag or two to do some dusting. I’m oblivious to anyone out there. It probably sounds really boring , but I  just love my time ALONE, it’s so much fun. I don’t want to know what’s going on in the world. I just want to get to know myself and learn to continue to be the better person I want to be.

By August 30th, I will be ready to welcome the world back into my life and start my job again for another ten months.