frenchie

Am I really going to be a grandmother? I have to pinch myself everytime I say it.  I still can’t believe it!!

Last week, my daughter and son-in-law called from their home in New Jersey. I didn’t think anything of it as it was a regular call. My husband was working at the golf course and I was waiting for him to come home while I had received this call. My daughter told me to check my calendar and to see if I was busy on April, 2010. She then mentioned that I need to get a paper and pencil and write down the date, April 10th. Looking at the calendar, I noticed it was on a Saturday. As I was doing this, I thought that perhaps they were both planning a party for my husband’s “Big Birthday” which is coming up in January, 2010. The weather would be warmer, it would be easier for us to travel, my son would be able to come in from Vancouver, and it would be a perfect time for a family celebration. But that wasn’t it.

She said that it was the date when we were “to become grandparents”.  My usual  scream with excitement didn’t want to come out. Instead, tears were flowing down my face. “Mom, are you okay?” “Okay?” I answered as she detected my crying voice, and as I could finally shout, ”I’m ecstatic and I can’t believe it.” “This is the best news I have ever heard, and it’s something I’ve been waiting for; it’s finally happening”, I continued with so much joy. “Mom, you’re making me cry, too.” she said as we both tried to calm down. At that moment, I could hear the front door open downstairs as my husband shouted his usual hello. “Quick, get on the phone”, I yelled back. As he did, my daughter also told him to get a calendar and to mark down this important date because he was going to be a grandpa. “No joke”, was his reply, “my daughter is going to have a baby?!”

Of course, we talked for awhile on the phone about her 13 weeks of pregnancy and how she was feeling.  We were so overwhelmed with excitement and enthusiasm that we just wanted to announce it to every person we know. So, we finally got off the phone, my husband and I looked at each other, and in a tone of disbelieve we both said, “wow, we’re really going to be grandparents”.

This weekend they came in for a visit and we were all extremely excited. She brought pictures of the ultrasound and we could actually see the baby. It’s just unbelievable.

They will find out if it’s a boy or girl in a couple of weeks, but my husband and I said we don’t want them to tell us - we want to be excited and in suspense. However, I’m starting to think about it seriously and might change my mind. I want to start buying baby clothes and toys for a boy or a girl. But, most important, is that she have an easy birth and an extremely healthy child.

This is how I feel today,

Tension will quickly go away.

I went for a walk in the morning sun,

Myself and music, it was such fun.

As I sit in my house and write,

I am praying with all my might,

That I feel great and carry on

To have the fun I always want.

And so I’m really trying hard,

By stating words close to my heart.

That I have my family close by my side,

I love you all;  my feelings I will never hide.

For the past three years, my friends have asked me to walk for the Weekend to End Breast Cancer. Every year I want to do it, but I don’t have the confidence to fundraise $2,000. Or, every year something always comes up on the day of the walk, which gives me a perfect excuse not to walk nor raise money. And, every year I’m donating money for other people to do the walk. I then hear how wonderful it is to be part of this weekend and the gratification it gives.

Next September is my retirement year and I feel that I really want to do the walk. But, I just can’t decide. I would love to raise the money required, but I know too many people who walk and I don’t want to go door to door asking people I hardly know to support me in my endeavours. Is this another excuse?

 Many of my colleagues have already told me that they have decided to donate their hard earned money to other causes. Many are tired of giving money to cancer research because they believe the pharmaceuticals are making all the money and a cure for cancer will never be found. Is that really true?  I sure hope not since there are so many young, middle-aged, and older people who are suffering and/or who have suffered from this terrible illness. What is happening to all the money that is being donated anyways?

Does someone out there have any answers? I would love to hear from you and to have your thoughts. Perhaps, this will also make it easier for me to make my final decision. I do know, though, that cancer has no boundaries and that too many of my close relatives, friends, and acquaintances have succumbed to this terrible disease. Whether our professionals are taking advantage of all the money that is coming in to funding the cause to find a cure for cancer or whether companies are taking advantage of the general population - we will probably never know. But I do know that in my heart I want someone out there to continue to do the hard work and find a cure for cancer SOON!  LET’S THINK PINK